We are continuing our Ask The Pastor series on the Blog. During the Thursday & Sunday services I addressed the question, “There are so many doctrines, teachings, and interpretations out there. How do we know that we are right and others are wrong?” If you want to see the answer to that question, you can watch the Bikers’ Church Version or the City Church Version.
Here is today’s blog question:
How should you go about dating someone who attends the church?
It’s Monday. It’s very warm outside. I didn’t sleep the best last night. And so, I figured I’d tackle this incredibly deep, intense question rather than one of the many other questions I received.
So, here goes. Get ready. This is going to be good.
If you want to date someone who attends the church, ask them out. I know, it’s radical. It’s wild. It’s so unlike how you would go about dating someone in a different environment. But, go for it. Ask them. If they say yes, great. If they tell you that they would rather poke their eyes out with a contaminated fork, then take it on the chin and consider it a maybe.
Alright, maybe it could get a little complicated than I’m suggesting.
Dating within church circles can be wonderful. After all, if you click, then you’ve found someone who has the same passion for God and for the local church. You have a lot of instant connections.
However, if it goes bad, it can go really bad. An uncomfortable, or even nasty breakup can mean one of you leaving the church. Friends will be pushed to take sides, people might try and get pastors involved. Not a good scene at all.
Over the years, we have had a few couples spilt up. Sometimes part of the breakup is a debate on who gets to continue attending the church. My response is always the same: as long as both people can demonstrate respect and treat their ex-partner with dignity, there is no reason for either person to leave the church. Dating couples who love God should be able to end their relationship differently. And yet, sadly, far too often it isn’t the case. In fact, while I have tried to counsel people to show respect, I can’t think of a single couple who split up and were able to see both people continue to attend the church. One often chooses to go elsewhere.
So, be realistic going into a relationship with someone who attends your church. The rewards can be amazing. But talk through the potential negatives. No couple begins dating with the expectation of breaking up, but at least recognize that it could get “difficult” if things go sour.
As long as you go into it recognizing the possible challenges, I say go for it. If someone interests you, let them know!
