Did you know that I’m a bit of an introvert, somewhat shy, and a fairly private person?
I know what you’re thinking. HUH?!? YOU? Introvert? Shy? Private? Yeah, and I’m secretly a Billionaire who prefers to live a rather simple life.
It’s true. At least it’s how I see myself. Let me explain. An introvert is someone who is predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things. Yes, we usually define an introvert as someone who is simply shy and quiet, and while these are characteristics of an introvert, the psychology of an introvert goes much deeper than simply shyness. An introvert goes into a large gathering and wants to know how they can “hide” in the crowd. They look for ways to lurk in the shadows others in the room. Watch me on a Thursday night at Bikers’ Church, and you’ll notice I disappear from time to time. I need to get away from the crowds and focus.
I’m also fairly shy. I struggle with meeting new people. I battle insecurities about being perceived as a dork when talking to someone for the first time (I know, some of you want to yell out, TOO LATE!). And yet, in my job, I am around people all the time. I am expected to carry the conversation when meeting someone for the first time. In my head, I often have to remind myself that I am expected to not be shy. And so, I put a lot of energy into overcoming the shyness when talking to someone new.
Finally, I’m a fairly private person. This one likely causes the most chuckles. After all, I write a blog, share many personal stories in my weekly talks, and seem to be a very open book for anyone who wants to examine my life. And yet, it’s all very controlled. Some of you understand what I’m saying immediately. I share my life on my terms. In my way. Everything I write is thought through. Yes, I’m fairly open about things, but I do so with a purpose and a plan.
I was reminded of this last one when I was about to open the box with my paint job from Arizona. A number of twitter friends were waiting with excitement to see my reaction when opening the box. Heather was poised with the camera, clicking away as I pulled each piece out of the packing beans. It was one of the most uncomfortable feelings in the world. Not because I didn’t want to share the experience with my friends, but because I wanted to have a moment to know how I felt about the paint before anyone else saw how I felt. Of course, I was blown away and very excited, but that’s not the point. The point is, I wasn’t in control of how my reaction would be viewed. It’s the same reason I don’t enjoy surprise parties, or opening gifts in front of others. Weird, huh?
The thing is, I’m perceived very differently than I see myself. Most people wouldn’t describe me as an introvert, shy, or private. In fact, most would see me the very opposite of how I see myself.
What about you? Do people see you the way you see yourself?
I had an interesting conversation with someone the other day who suggested that you can’t control how someone perceives you. And that’s true, to a point. Their perception of you is going to be filtered through their own biases. For instance, when I pull up to a light riding my WideGlide, holding on to my Ape Hangers, my pipes rumbling loudly, people around me respond very differently. Some roll up their windows and look straight ahead. Others yell out to me, “Nice bike!” I’ve had people standing at bus stops wave to me. Kids, especially boys, get excited and stare. When I wave to them, they smile from ear to ear. Sometimes, mom’s get nervous and try to get the kid to look away. Other times, the mom’s seem as thrilled as the child. Yet, when I pull up to the same intersection in my car, there is no reaction.
The same is true when I walk into a coffee shop with my MacBook in hand. If I’m wearing a Sens jersey, I’m just another geek who likes hockey. But if I’ve got my leather jacket on, or a t-shirt that shows off my tattoos, I’m a biker who probably stole a MacBook!
So, who are you really? Are you the person you see yourself as, or are you the person others perceive you to be?
Or, could there be a third option? Maybe we are the person God designed us to be. Some of us have figured out who that is, while others are still on the journey of discovering who we were meant to be. But maybe, that third option … the one God created us to be is somewhere in the middle of the other two. Maybe.
What are your thoughts?
