I’ve waited about a week to share on what happened to me in the middle of the night. I woke up (not uncommon for me) and laid in bed thinking about stuff. My mind drifted to Brit’s departure to Costa Rica, and that’s when it happened. I experienced a panic attack. Suddenly my heart began to race, I struggled to breathe, I began to sweat. “My baby is leaving! She is going to be gone for an entire year! A YEAR! She is only 15, she can’t go. This is ridiculous!” I thought about something happening — not something really terrible, but something bad nonetheless. I thought about her heart being broken by a boy, or what would happen if she has a bad experience with a teacher. How will I deal with her crying over the phone when I am unable to wrap my arms around her and hold her like a dad should?
It lasted only a few minutes, but it was not pleasant. Soon I got control of my breathing and I began to relax again. I reminded myself that she is a gift from God — and ultimately, she is his child. He loves her as much (could it possibly be more?) than I do. Does God’s love promise me (or her) that she will be safe no matter what happens? Of course not. The Bible doesn’t guarantee our safety anywhere. But a calm assurance came over me as I realized again that God is in control of her life, and mine. No matter what happens, we will trust her. She has the foundation and the maturity to do the same.
I’m proud of Brit. There are not a lot of kids her age who could have the confidence to do something like this. She is very open about the fact that she is nervous about it, and yet it doesn’t stop her from seizing an incredible opportunity. She will go to Costa Rica and will allow herself to experience all that this year will offer her. In the end, it will enrich her life in ways that I could never do.
